Summer fun??

Soon we embark on our summer adventure.  It will be my boys' first time on an airplane.  We are going to visit the 'other half' of my boys' family.  My former in-laws are having a family reunion, and we're invited.  They want to spend time with their grandsons, and I'm the gatekeeper, so to speak.  The ex will be there too.  It's going to be the first time we'll be together for an extended period of time since the separation, which was over 2 years ago (but seems like a lifetime ago).  I am having lots of mixed emotions about this.  I am not a natural traveller, to say the least, and this is certainly not going to be a straight-forward joy-filled occasion for me.  It may make me feel like a pile of crap, and reload guilt on my plate that I've already tried to wash away.  I don't want my boys to get 'confused' about the status of their family.  I think this is highly unusual, for a woman to spend a week with her ex's family.  I'm doing it for the sake of the kids... and hopefully, I come out of this a stronger woman, more sure of myself and my decision to leave the marriage.  I know I deserve better.  I know he treated me like crap.  I know I don't want that ever again.... and so, I can do this.  I can do it.  God help me!

A time for good bye

Having reached the end of the school year, both of my boys are having graduation or 'moving on' ceremonies.  I am finding myself really pausing to mark the passing of time, and that things are a'changing.  Very soon, I will no longer have alone time with my youngest while his big brother is at school!  Very soon, we'll be in summer vacation mode, and before long, the cycle will start again with another school year.  I have also had to say good bye to my volunteer position, which has ended.  Yet again, life as I have known it for the last 6 months is about to be turned on its head.

It's a gift when opportunities arise that give me the chance to actually stand back and notice that time is marching on, and that change is inevitable.  Even though I am teary at the 'end' of this era, I am also optimistic and hopeful about the new chapter opening up.  Bring it on!!!